Hail Eris-All hail Discordia-Kallisti
This document will be stamped with such legends as OFFICIAL-DO NOT USE THIS PAPER AS TOILET TISSUE; SECRET- FOR YOUR EYES ONLY; QUIXOTE LIVES, etc., all in the most tasteful blues and reds, together with Easter Bunny seals, ribbons, and whatever other decorations it pleases the local cabal to attach. Often it will be accompanied by a button or an armband, making the possessor a five-star General, adorned with a classic rendition of the Knight of the Mournful Countenance. Copies, of course, will be sent to the radical students at the school to guarantee that the principal being honored will see and hear many references to Don Quixote in following days, lest he think he is dealing with a single "harmless lunatic." (The official signal of the Knights of the Five-Sided Castle, needless to say, is a pentagon with a golden apple inside.)
Other groups to which individuals may be given honorary membership for conspicuously Aneristic behavior are:
the Hemlock Fellowship for academic leaders who have taken strong actions to protect students from disturbing ideas and/or to deny tenure to controversial teachers or professors;
the St. Famine Society for War Against Evil- for people who have exhibited unusual concern for the moral behavior of their neighbors;*
* Annual meetings are held on the Feast of St. Famine at the Casa de Inquisitador in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
the Flat Earth Society- for legislators or citizens' groups dedicated to preventing the dissemination of "modernistic" ideas in education;
the Fat Jap Anti-Defamation League- for Women's Liberationists and others who have found good ideological reasons to object to the English language;
the Fraternal Order of Hate Groups- given to allegedly libertarian groups only if they have engaged in conspicuously authoritarian behavior and have developed a philosophical line proving that said behavior is actually libertarian. (That group which has found the best libertarian justification for opposing liberty receives the Annual William Buckley Memorial Award and joint membership in the St. Famine Society for War Against Evil.);
the First Evangelical and Reformed Rand, Branden, and Holy Gait Church-for those who are simultaneously rationalists and dogmatists;
the Part-of-the-Solution Vanguard Party- for any Supreme Servant of the People who has shown inordinate zeal in banishing most of the people as Parts-of-the-Problem.
Other aspects of Operation Mindfuck include:
Project Eagle. Day-glo posters have been printed which look like the old Eagle proclamation saying TO THE POLLS YE SONS OF FREEDOM. The new, improved Discordian posters, however, have one slight word change, and say cheerfully BURN THE POLLS YE SONS OF FREEDOM. Like the Old ones, they are posted in prominent places on election day.
Project Pan-Pontification. Since the Rev. Kirby Hensley founded the Universal Life Church and started ordaining everybody as a minister of the gospel, the Paratheo-Aname-tamystikhood of Eris Esoteric has decided to raise the stakes. They are now distributing cards stating: